


I Hate Halloween

by ScientistSalarian



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Banter, F/M, Flirting, Halloween, Interspecies Romance, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 00:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12200565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScientistSalarian/pseuds/ScientistSalarian
Summary: This is a little drabble for the lovely ilyasvieltrevelyanshepard who requested I use the line "Have I mentioned I fucking hate Halloween?" for some Evfra/Ryder silliness :D





	I Hate Halloween

Costumed partygoers milled about on the floor of the Nexus as Evfra stared at the menagerie of outfits ranging from the outlandish, to the adorable, to the utterly grotesque. He squinted as he tried to make out what exactly the costumes were trying to portray. Sadly his lack of Milky Way pop-cultural knowledge only left him more confused than before. He couldn't even find a common theme amongst the costumes except that they all seemed incredibly garish and extremely impractical.

"Isn't this fantastic!" Jaal had managed to sneak up behind Evfra while he was lost in thought. Slightly startled by Jaal's declaration, Evfra turned to face him. To his surprise, Jaal was wearing a costume of his own. It was gold and shiny and Evfra found it utterly hideous. Before he could chastise Jaal for taking part in such ridiculous traditions, Jaal continued attempting to spread his enthusiastic cheer to Evfra. "Ryder said I am a C-3PO! I do not know what it means or what it is but it makes humans smile at me. Some of them beep at me and I haven't discovered why yet but I am having so much fun! Humans are fascinating creatures aren't they?"

Evfra rolled his eyes and simply stated. "I already fucking hate Halloween."

"Hey! I heard that!" Ryder said as she ran to catch up with Jaal. She was wearing a long sequined red dress that left little to the imagination. Evfra looked at her, intrigued by her choice of attire. She was wearing long blue gloves and her hair was now a bright shade of orange. She could almost feel Evfra's gaze drinking her in as she smiled a wicked grin. "Like what you see?" She made her voice sound a bit deeper, more sultry than her usual tone.

"Yes, but what is it supposed to be?" He didn't quite understand the concept of Halloween yet. He had been told it was a frightening holiday yet Ryder looked anything but.

"It's a character from an old movie from Earth. Her name is Jessica Rabbit. 'I'm not bad, I'm just drawn this way'." She quoted the movie instictively before realizing that the reference flew completely over Evfra's head. Pointing to Jaal she said, "That's from another old Earth movie called Star Wars." Ryder was grinning from ear to ear. Halloween had always been her favorite holiday and she was excited to have Evfra be a part of it even if he wasn't keen on participating.

"And what is that supposed to be?" Evfra pointed to the door to the Nexus' Cultural Center that was covered in spooky decorations. There were ghosts, goblins and gravestones festooning the outside of the center. Fake blood was splattered about and the vague sound of a chainsaw was growling int he distance.

"Oh man, that...you're going to have to see for yourself." Ryder's grin grew even more mirthful. She wanted to see firsthand how Evfra handled a haunted house. She hoped that just once, she'd be able to see him thrown off from his usual stoic stance. "You want to go in, or are you too scared?" 

"Scared of the Nexus' cultural center? No. I am not." Evfra wasn't picking up on Ryder's hints that perhaps he did have something to be afraid of and having no experience with any sort of haunting, he was more perplexed than anything. He could clearly see that the decorations were fake and he was reasonably sure that the sounds coming from within were just a holorecording. 

They strode together to the entrance and Ryder let loose an evil giggle. "Are you sure you can handle this?" 

"If this is all it takes to scare people from your galaxy, you haven't really experienced true terror." Evfra huffed and walked through the doors. Immediately he heard the sounds of the chainsaw growing louder. Screams pierced through the ominous music humming in the background. The room was darkened and all the usual holostatues had been converted into grim depictions of the dead. In place of the decorative plants were more gruesome displays and various Nexus personnel in terrifying costumes. Evfra didn't react though. He didn't quite see the purpose of the whole thing or why Ryder would think it would affect him. Suddenly a fog machine obscured their vision and a hand wrapped around his ankle. A salarian in a zombie costume dropped from the ceiling directly in front of him covered in blood, his eyes glowing green.

"Fuck!" Evfra cursed aloud. He wriggled away from the hand that had grabbed at him earlier only to be grabbed from behind by a bloodied asari axe-murderer. "What the fuck is this Ryder?" 

Ryder couldn't answer. She was laughing too hard to control herself. This was going even better than she had hoped. She smiled at the salarian, pleased that his performance had ellicited such a reaction out of Evfra.

"What is the point of this?" Evfra muttered to the human at his side, trying to regain his composure. 

"It's fun!" Ryder answered as they waded through some cobwebs. 

"How is this fun?" Evfra winced as he was caught by another jump-scare and nearly landed in Ryder's arms. 

"It's a safe way to feel fear is all. We know this stuff won't actually hurt us so we just enjoy the thrill." Ryder lead further though the haunted house where a costumed turian popped out of a grave causing both Ryder and Evfra to shriek in surprise. Evfra shot her a disapproving look as they made their way closer to the exit.

"Fear is not supposed to be fun, Ryder! What is wrong with all of you?" He was moving slower now, looking around with a stoney grimace etched into his face. He was not going to allow anything else to catch him unaware. 

"Don't blame the rest of them, Evfra. This started as an Earth holiday. We just spread it to the rest of the galaxy and it ended up catching on." Ryder squealed as a ghostly hand grabbed her shoulder from behind. 

Just as they were about to reach the end, a masked figure emerged from the foggy mist and reached out towards Evfra with a bloodied hand. "Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween?" Evfra had barely been a part of the holiday for an hour and he already loathed it. He found the entire conceit of the thing absurd and he was grateful to be done with the haunted house.

"I'm sorry Evfra." Ryder immediately felt bad for having dragged Evfra into the haunted house in the first place. Granted, his reactions were rather entertaining but she hoped she hadn't angered him too much. 

Evfra stalked off to sulk before he noticed the scent of something sweet wafting through the air. He turned to Ryder and unfolded his arms. "What is that smell?" 

A smile spread across Ryder's face. "Usually people eat candy for Halloween but we were having trouble making it taste like the candy back home so we ended up baking cookies instead. Someone apparently filled an entire crate on the Hyperion with chocolate chip cookie dough so this is the real deal from back home." She linked arms with Evfra and took him up to the research lab which had now become a makeshift bakery. 

Evfra's mouth was watering and he was eager to taste the food that had managed to survive such a long journey to his galaxy. He allowed Ryder to lead him to the table where the fresh baked cookies were laid out in rows. They were still warm from the oven and Evfra found himself surprised by the temperature. He took a bite and Ryder watched, hoping that he wouldn't find the things repellant to his angaran tastebuds.

Evfra slowly nodded as he finished the cookie. "Your holiday is slowly redeeming itself." He said the words cautiously as though he was afraid that any expression of enjoyment might encourage her to take him somewhere even more maddening than the haunted house. 

Ryder finished her cookie as well and looked up at Evfra's face. It had softened just a bit from its usual hardened scowl. "So, does that make up for scaring the crap out of you?" 

"No. It doesn't," he answered curtly. "But this might." He swiftly wisked Ryder behind a large display of whatever local vegetable the Nexus was trying to pass off as pumpkins, and kissed her deeply. 

Ryder's cheeks flushed and she wrapped her arms around Evfra's shoulders. "I'm glad you'll still kiss me even after I take you on the worst date of your life." 

Evfra kissed her once more and cupped her face in his hands. "Knowing you, there will be worse yet to come." 

Ryder feigned looking offended and she tried to best to look cross with him. Instead she found herself grinning as she retorted, "I should be angry with you, but instead I'm going to take that little jab as a challenge. From here on out I promise each date I plan will be more horrible than the last."

He never did understand why he found her irreverence so endearing but he couldn't help finding her teasing to be charming. "If you're leaving it up to me to be the romantic one now, you're going to be sorely disappointed." 

"I guess we'll just have to see what's worse, my deliberate awfulness or your accidental awfulness." Ryder's fingers traced over the ridges that ran from his neck to his shoulders. 

Evfra lifted her up and hoisted her over his shoulder and walked back to his ship that was parked at the Nexus docking bay. As soon as the shuttle doors closed behind him he set her down and pinned her to wall. He kisses her roughly as his hand ran up the slit in her dress. His fingers caressed her upper thigh and she let out a small moan.

"If this is a competition for who is more awful..." Evfra trailed off as he backed away from Ryder. "...then I should just leave you in that state and not go any further."

Ryder realized that her little game had backfired on her spectacularly. "Damn you, Evfra." She cursed his name and pouted at him sullenly.

Feeling victorious, Evfra took a step closer to her and let his deep blue eyes drink her in. "I win." He stated simply before hauling her off to his quarters. "I still fucking hate Halloween though."


End file.
